I am going to be moving a couple states away in just a few weeks, and at times I question whether I am running away or running towards something.  I think there are elements of both, and as someone who is young, unattached in terms of relationships, children, and mortgages, I feel compelled to the challenges of being in a new environment.  On the other hand, I seem to have a pattern of wanting to "escape" the excessive neediness I feel--a need to be heard, loved, understood.  When needs aren't met, I seek external ways of meeting those (such as relocating, finding new friends, new this, new that), even though, if I am honest with myself, I know that the needs won't be found outside of me until I can find them within me.  Last year, I spent a semester abroad, and of course moving didn't solve the neediness and desperation.  If anything, it intensified it because I was left to my own devices and was ultimately uncomfortable with having to be alone.

Especially after that experience, I am recognizing just how crucial it is that I am able to enjoy being alone and able to love myself despite being seemingly unloved by others.  Am I setting myself up for a disaster by moving, or can this new awareness help me to transcend my neediness even in my new environment?  While I am working more deeply through my loneliness/neediness in new surroundings, should I use this as an opportunity to stay with those heightened moments when I feel miserable and alone?  Or would it be unwise to attempt new friendships during a time when I have the potential to be rather needy?

If you've been tuning out the economic woes up to this point, certainly by now what's been going on has grabbed your attention.

I'm no expert, but I think like a lot of people are doing, I'm shaking my head in disbelief and amazement that something like this could happen. And with the impending government takeovers of these massive financial institutions that will be putting hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars at stake, I'm nervous for our country's future. At the same time, I hope it was a worthwhile investment. My second hope is that, with the government calling most of the shots, perhaps some sort of reform will come about that will bring some sort of equilibrium and fairness. That could be a long shot and highly dependent on the ethics of who's taking over these companies with billions and trillions of dollars at stake, but we can hope nonetheless.

I think it speaks not only of the predatory greed at the highest levels, but also about us as consumers; as people desperate to own, obtain, and somehow "fit" into a certain class of people by what we possess. How much do we need, and is it worth being slaves to our debt for our entire lives just to fill some superficial need?

Maybe this will wake people up like it did after the Depression about our spending. Slow down the buy now, pay later, slave away just to pay off the things you already own mentality. Simplify, and be more content with what you have instead of wanting what you don't. At times it's something I've struggled with; after all, we are human and sometimes desire makes us do irrational things. But seeing the way that people have been taken advantage of makes me much less inclined to give my money month by month to someone who is anticipating my eyes being glazed over, blinded by wants, rather than being alert to my acute needs and to the lender anxiously awaiting my decision to jeopardize my freedom for a bright shiny new _______ .

What is becoming of the American Dream? Who is more at fault, and whose insatiability is more out of control? Ours or theirs?